Tuesday, October 20, 2009

And the Other Shoe Drops!

Each time my fingers hit the keys to put together a post it seems tougher and tougher to find the words. Clearly words and I are not strangers; but capturing the moment, establishing the essence is often difficult if not impossible. Such is the reality of this post. Evan has had cancer, Evan has cancer, and Evan will have cancer in the future.
In this latest battle, surgery cleared margins all around the masses, but the infilitrating tendrils reached through the muscle, beyond the fascia and wrapped themselves in the fat around the 11th rib. This is beyond the edge of the surgeon’s reach, it is into very dangerous areas. The war is reaching a crescendo. Even though we found these new masses quickly, it clearly was not quickly enough.
What does this mean? It means that bad cells were left in a place where they are not likely to receive the nutrients necessary to grow and as a result will likely die in place. Because of the placement of the cells and the lack of access to nutrients, it is also a bad location for chemotherapy. If it does grow again from these cells, it will be concealed beneath the layers of skin, muscle and connective tissue between the rib and the skin. If it does grow again, it will be closer to Evan’s solid organs than it has ever been. If it grows again, there is no lymph defense system between it and his central blood circulation. Left some behind, likely, likely, if, if, if. Not particularly encouraging words, not the words you want to hear
Where do we go from here? Wait and watch! Be vigilant and be prepared. Scan in 6 months.
What have we gained? Time. Time to love. Time to learn. Time to allow immunity to gain a foothold. Time for prayer, and time for peace. Time to reinforce hope. Time to encourage others. Time to plan for our futures. Time to quantify the love in a hug.
We will always have time for peace, that internal place of sanctity granted by the very presence of our creator. For if we do not create and take the time for it now, we will have an eternity to wonder why we didn’t.
And how does a person quantify the love in a hug? We’re not quite sure, but we know that Evan gives the best. And until you can quantify the love in a hug, and show us someone with more than Evan’s, we defy you to find better.
What next? Well for Evan it is back to school today, no time like the present. So with his 6 inch drain line out on Monday, a 10” incision from his spine to his side, and a slightly twisted gait from the tight left sided muscles, Evan will be walking down the halls of school today. We asked for ‘body guards’ and have ordered a sweat wicking armored (a flak jacket assembly, looks like the Master Chief from HALO) t-shirt we will get him back to ‘normal’ 10 year old activities as soon as possible. But surely we tell you that courage has a new name today, and with a resilience and strength of Kevlar reinforced carbon composite plating, it must be known as Evan.

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